Her father told once, she was maniac depressive and wasn’t able to stay like a normal person. My father had to deal with this depression, everyday. Although my father wasn’t much better. He was hardly ever home. He stayed away from home like my mother do. But, may be he was in a condition, he needed to stay away to maintain his anger. So that, we( me and my brother) won’t say- even our father is going through some depression.
Actually, My parents were teenagers when they had me. They both were in love since their college times. But may be love hasn’t a way to deal lifelong or we people aren’t wise enough to make it deal better. Well any condition can be true. As, now I’m 18 and I don’t feel it yet. My childhood experience about “love”is devastated. I saw my parents, fighting over no reason, abusing each other, reckless behavior toward their responsibilities. My mother abandoned us early on. My father used to visit us on Sundays only. I was the only one who take care of me as well as my little brother. My brother generally ask me why they both left us? And, one who is not considered as ‘left us’ but too not deny the same. I raised me and my brother on my own.I don’t talk to either of my parents. My father didn’t visited us so long, maybe he died. My mother sends me text every once in awhile, but i don’t answer.
My brother is my only family. I changed our residential area. I don’t want my mother to come back, to bother us. We both are very happy in our life. My brother send money to a address , I know whom address he is sending. But i never stop him to do so. I always tried to complete my responsibility as a sister and as a daughter too. May be he too doing the same. He respects me a lot, too hate the fact that he still love our parents. I as a guardian, happy to see that my brother inherited good manners from me. I feel very lucky whenever I see him, he is the only profit i gained from my parents so far. This is very important to have a hand in world, no matter what is the relation of yours with that hand.
My mother likes to imagine that she played a part in my accomplishment. She want to come back, but at what cost? She tells her coworkers all about me as if she’d been part of my life. And I don’t want her to have that satisfaction. But I’m not gonna happen this. I myself made it all so long, so strong, so fresh. I don’t want a parenthood feeling which have the extreme power to destroy it all. I build-ed it all. There is no part in me which belongs to her. She left us when I was 6. I could trod myself when I was that much small but I hadn’t lose my temper. I felt very exhausted sometimes, I asked myself how I could manage this all, from where I’ll made money, and so many thoughts were there which could finish my life. I raised, not only myself but him too. No one is there to make a individuality I’m today, not even her. And the ironic part is- A maniac depressive women is now working in a company, earning enough money to provide her children a better life. But this all is not happening, instead she is entertaining the price she’s getting ‘for not taking charge of her own birthed babies’ by my BROTHER!
I healed myself from this life experience, and make myself a strong women as output 🙂 I have followed the path which leads me to a wealthy and secure life. I removed toxic people from my life. I’m not denying the fact that we should respect our elders. But at what cost we should do, Is my question!
Life is to live and not to give. Surround yourself with the best. My mother is living more happy life than she’ll ever live with us. This was her choice to left us, and always will hers. My choice is to not stuck with past and to move on that’ll gonna last !
P.S. It’s really easy for most people to urge reconsideration just because it’s your “family” but you can have family that isn’t blood related. you can have a work family, best friend, family/family members, and often times I’m closer to the people who aren’t blood related.
[ I got the idea, after reading a post of “Humans of new York” ! The post is the only reason, of my 14th blog post.]